Man Discovers Mother-In-Law Has Been Secretly Breastfeeding His Baby
A new father on Reddit has been really going through it since welcoming his first child into the world. Tragically, his wife died just minutes after giving birth to their daughter months ago, and ever since, he has been struggling to raise the newborn on his own while also coping with his grief. Needless to say, this wouldn’t be an easy situation for anyone to navigate alone, but unfortunately, one person seems to be making things even worse for the new dad. According to his now-viral Reddit post, the man’s mother-in-law has been seriously overstepping her boundaries lately and recently did something so shocking that it left him utterly speechless.
The sudden death of his wife, Anne, was a devastating blow to everyone who knew her. Though she was only 34 years old when she died, the widower said his wife had an extremely difficult pregnancy, which required him to take an indefinite leave from work about three months before their baby girl was even due. After the birth, that leave stretched even longer, but once his daughter, Sammy, reached four months old, he knew it was time to return to work and began to explore childcare options. During his search, the dad happened to mention his plans to his mother-in-law, a 56-year-old woman named Sandra. By doing so, he thought his mother-in-law might be able to recommend someone she knew in the childcare field, but instead, Sandra offered to watch Sammy herself for free.
Though the new dad appreciated the offer, he was reluctant to say yes. “I told her she’s free to come by anytime during the day if she feels uncomfortable with a nanny looking after Sammy,” he shared in the post, “but she insisted on doing it herself.” So, I said yes and gave her a copy of the house keys. In the weeks that followed, they started to establish a daily routine. “My mother-in-law comes 30 minutes before I leave for work, and when I come home, she stays for dinner and leaves after putting Sammy to sleep,” the Reddit poster shared.
But recently, things started to take a turn. Everything was fine for the first couple of weeks until I noticed that Sammy’s not feeding as much. Her formulas barely touched, so he innocently asked his mother-in-law why Sammy hadn’t been feeding well lately. To his surprise, the response he got back nearly knocked him off his chair. According to the mother-in-law, she’d been trying to breastfeed Sammy herself, hence the reason she wasn’t giving her as much formula lately. “At first I thought she was joking, then I realized she wasn’t,” he went on. “She said Sammy needs to latch for a few minutes every day to activate her milk production naturally.”
The new dad was stunned by this revelation. “I almost lost it,” he wrote in his post, adding that he firmly told his mother-in-law she cannot do that and she needs to stop. She said she will, but I caught her again when I walked in my daughter’s room and she was forcing Sammy to latch. At this point, the poster had had enough. He confronted his mother-in-law about her actions and told her that she’s no longer Sammy’s nanny. But unfortunately, this isn’t where the story ends. “I didn’t ask for the key back, as she is still welcome to come visit anytime,” the dad explained, but apparently, that was a big mistake.
I asked for a one-week leave from work to care for my daughter and find a nanny, the poster shared. I found one, but two days after she started, she never returned. When he finally gave the nanny a call to ask why she failed to show for work, the answer he got was definitely one that was unexpected. According to the nanny, the poster’s mother had fired her the day before. When he asked the nanny to describe what his mother looked like, he realized instantly that it was Sandra. Apparently, she’d come over while the dad was at work and entered by using her key; then, at some point, she promptly fired the nanny.
At this point, the dad was livid. In fact, he was about to call Sandra and give her a piece of his mind when she suddenly showed up at his house on her own. She gave me a convoluted story like how I hired an incompetent nanny, etcetera, etcetera, he explained. I told her to leave, but she refused and told me she’s calling CPS because I’m endangering my child. The two continued to argue back and forth for some time until the poster ultimately called the police, and his mother-in-law was charged with trespassing.
At the moment, the dust is still settling. I know my mother-in-law is grieving the loss of her daughter, the poster admits, but I am too, and she crossed the line when she disregarded my wishes. That said, he’s now caught in a pretty hairy situation. Not only is his mother-in-law furious with him, but his sister-in-law and brother-in-law have both called him ruthless, which has caused him to second-guess his reaction. “Have I taken it too far by calling the police?” he asked the people of Reddit.
“Her trying to breastfeed your daughter without your permission is gross and completely wrong,” wrote a commenter. “Beyond that, she fired your nanny. I’d ask for your key back and set some serious boundaries. Change the locks,” urged someone else. With the way she was hurtling over the boundaries you set, I wouldn’t be surprised if she made copies, and make sure to tell the nanny not to let anyone in. Others also reminded him of one very important part of the story: she wasn’t just trying to breastfeed his daughter without his consent; she was also withholding formula from her.
“She was blatantly abusing your daughter,” wrote one person, who added that breastfeeding her granddaughter will not bring her daughter back. She was starving the child, another person added. Let mother-in-law call CPS; she’s the one who’ll end up with charges, not OP. Most people agree that the mother-in-law was likely struggling with her own grief, but that still doesn’t excuse her behavior. “Grief does not make someone starve a child,” wrote one person who urged the dad to press charges and change the locks immediately instead of just asking for the keys back.
Others were confused about the mother-in-law’s logic. “Inducing lactation doesn’t work like that, anyway,” wrote one Reddit user. “Sure, it’s possible even if you haven’t been pregnant recently, but you need to: one, take certain medications; two, pump every two hours including at night; and three, continue with it for two to three months until you have somewhat sufficient milk production. It looks like the mother-in-law is starving her grandchild and using her for emotional support.” The person included, “If anyone needs to be reported to CPS, it’s mother-in-law.”
In an update to the post, the new dad thanked Redditors for their concern and support. He added that he recently called CPS to update the agency about the situation and invited his mom to help look after Sammy while he considers his options. In addition to his doorbell camera, he decided to update his entire home security system in case things escalate in the future with his mother-in-law. He also spoke with his brother-in-law and sister-in-law, who agreed that forcing Sammy to breastfeed was wrong. That said, they’re still angry with him for calling the cops and thought it was unnecessary and cruel because the mother-in-law is still grieving her daughter.
All things considered, though, multiple Redditors assured the dad that he was definitely not to blame for any part of this situation. Regardless of how much his mother-in-law is stuck in sorrow, everyone has the right to grieve, but no one, no matter who they are, has the right to weaponize that grief and use it to hold you hostage. One person told him, “These people should be rallying around you to support you, not creating chaos.”
